Never have I learned of four letters more beautiful to me that
truly serve as a key to unlocking a new world of understanding of me than “INFJ”.
I have never taken the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test before, though I
kind of guessed which of each category I fall under prior to taking the test.
Little did I know that there was a deep pool of information that describes me
so perfectly from one of the sixteen personality types. INFJ means (I)ntrovert,
I(N)tuitive, (F)eeling, (J)udging. Apparently there are even scores for how
intensely you fit under each area. I am moderately introverted (56%),
moderately intuitive (50%), slightly feeling (13%), and moderately judging at
(33%). (Though I felt the need to take the test many times to see which answers
influenced changes in the results.) Naturally for me, I wanted to dive in to
every resource on the internet to go through with a fine tooth comb to learn
more. What is so deeply important to me about this is that I feel more connected
to who I am by having an explanation rather than just feeling that I am very
different than most people I have met. In almost every resource I have come
across it makes specific mention that INFJ is the rarest type with estimates of
around 1-2% of the population deriving this representation. This makes sense, I
suppose, because I do not meet a lot of people like me at all. I really thought
for thirty years now that it must be who I am, which is so very different, or
how my unusual circumstances growing up affected me. Undoubtedly they did
affect me, but perhaps maybe in a positive way, in a way that I did not expect
or understand.
Unfortunately for everyone in my life, I am now hyper aware
of these typings and I try to guess everyone’s type in addition to trying to
get them to take the test which can be found accessed at http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp.
What I have found the most joy from is starting a conversation about MBTI and
familiarizing those unfamiliar with it, which I am surprised how everyone seems
to know about this, but I did not. Then I reveal my type. I have known for a
long time I am introverted. I just never mentioned it. The shock on my friends
and families faces brings me unusual amusement when I start with the first
indictor of Extroverted or Introverted. At the same time Extroverted comes out
of their mouths and Introverted comes from mine followed by confused faces. I
like to describe INFJ’s as introverts who masquerade as extroverts. “They are,
in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and
are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they
most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who
can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among
their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates” (Heiss &
Butt, n.d., n.p.). No truer words have been written about me.
Just because someone is introverted does not mean they are
shy, which I am not. I think this is a common misconception about introverts. If
you brought me on stage right now in front of thousands of people I could easily
make up a dance routine or discuss a familiar topic from knowledge or do a
question and answer session. (Just do not ask me to do math on a blackboard or
I am out of there!) I also engage people quite enthusiastically when I meet
strangers or friends. However, the Feeling part of me causes me to give a lot
of myself and I feel extremely drained sometimes to exhaustion from social
situations.
While instinctively courting the
personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals
INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their
intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them,
providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent
the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent givers. (Heiss
& Butt, n.d., n.p.).
Going home and taking a nap and being secluded is not
enough, a dark hole or a rock would be more suitable for recharging. Jokes
aside though, sharing this information with the people around me will help them
understand me better and let me be more of my authentic self. Typically I do
the worrying about making others comfortable and do not necessarily fuss about
myself much because it is not a natural need of mine. “As a pattern of
behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ
character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly
by those who have little experience with this rare type” (Heiss & Butt,
n.d., n.p.).
After completing the test a description is provided to
explain the typing. If you type in your ‘letters’ in a Google search a lot of
information is available including INFJ personality, careers, relationships,
and famous people. There was even a prompt for worst career choices. I have
been in a couple. An unlikely source was also Pinterest which basically has a
whole community of every typing. Now that I have this insight it is absolutely
part of my own personal arsenal of fancy life tools that I can use. I love it! “INFJs
are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range
and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be
idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they
are generally "doers" as well as dreamers” (Heiss & Butt, n.d.,
n.p.). For my leadership potential and capacity this seems like great fortune
has smiled upon me and that I can essentially have the best of both worlds,
dreaming and doing.
Due in part to the unique perspective
produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of
the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the
types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important
contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities
often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type
(possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function). (Heiss & Butt,
n.d., n.p.).
I have always felt that I have a great deal of understanding
or intuitive awareness of other people almost immediately upon meeting someone
and my perception deepens as I know them. People can show one face and hide
another. The most generic of circumstances, words, movements, feelings I get
from another person helps me build a portfolio of the interworking of that
person. I do not trust very easily, but this is something you would not know by
being in my presence. Before this typing all I could really say was that I had
a feeling. Of course to be polite I give people the benefit of the doubt, but I
always instinctively know who to give a wide wake and it does not usually take
that long to see that I am well founded in my assessment. This is beneficial in
a professional setting because I know who to be extra cautious with my words
and phrasing so that it cannot be manipulated against me or who I need to work
extra hard at building a relationship with where most people would have
difficulty. I think this would beneficial to building a team, to have a sense
of someone before working with them. “Accurately suspicious about others'
motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely
fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are
selective about their friends” (Heiss & Butt, n.d., n.p.).
I am also painstaking self-aware, perhaps way too much in a
way that can manifest itself in crippling self-doubt without good reason. “There
can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the
J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest
priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing
self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and
most convoluted feelings” (Heiss & Butt, n.d., n.p.). I see and feel things
that are so great and quite intense and sometimes it seems like it transcends
even the most complex vocabulary available. This makes it hard for me to get
out ideas or feelings and equally difficult to be understood. I think
extensively about myself, but also about pretty much everything and anything.
Details do not escape me and I think expansively about all possibilities. It is
also just as exhausting as being introverted.
Usually self-expression comes more easily
to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in
addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally
well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching
(especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and
counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally
difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. (Heiss & Butt, n.d., n.p.).
One of my hopes is that as I continue my leadership journey
I am able to utilize my writing capabilities in my career. I would like to
continue blogging and sharing with others through written word. I think this is
something that I have strength in and feel that each time I write it is
practice and that I can continue to fine tune this ability by continuing to
write. I am unsure if I will always remain in higher education as an advisor;
however, teaching has become increasingly interesting to me and this is why
being a mentor, coach, or even a career or academic instructor could be a good
match. I believe in leadership there is a need for a strong leader to be able
to take that role whether it is part of the job description like an actual
“teacher” or not.
I feel extremely proud to be an INFJ and to uncover more
information about myself in more concrete terms. This is something I feel I
will continue to read about and reflect upon. Having this information can only
make me stronger and that is ultimately the goal; to continue to build to be
better for yourself and others. I have had jobs in the past that just were not
honestly good fits for who I am internally and my core being and I felt the
effects of that and it made me feel shame for not being a good enough fit. Now
I know that there are better areas for me and what they are. However, while I
will never be an accountant (not that I ever tried) I also do not feel limited
either. In the list of famous INFJ’s I have very inspiring company that shows
that nothing is impossible in terms of becoming a leader that leaves a long-lasting
impression. There have been two U.S. Presidents, Martin Van Buren and James
Earl "Jimmy" Carter, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, Mother
Teresa of Calcutta, and Gandhi. I am unsure how this list was composed, but no
complaints from me. I will try to do my best to make them (or their legacy)
proud to share me as their INFJ company.