A521.3.4.RB- Personal Reflections

In 1993 when I was little girl growing up in Florida I remember sitting on the couch in trouble. My dad sat next to me while I traced patterns in the couch fabric avoiding his gaze, he was concerned that I had not listened to him and that I would not admit it. This was an unusual occurrence because I was good at listening and did not like being in trouble. I cannot recall what I did twenty-one years ago to land myself in hot water but I will always remember the speech he gave to me. He looked at me and told me, “You are so stubborn… just like your mother… and your grandmother.” This got my attention because that was almost like fighting words in my mind. My mother had passed away the year before and my father loved her deeply. She had a way of never doing anything she was suppose to, especially when someone told her it was good for before she made up her own mind about it. In the end I think that was how her cancer had progressed so much before it was found, she would not go to the doctor and find out what was wrong because my father suggested it. I suppose this should not be of any surprise because she did not cook beyond heating stuff up for me to eat because she did not like how the Home Economics teacher told her how cook. She wanted to do it her way or no way. My grandmother, on the other hand, was the type of family member that cast a dark shadow wherever she went. Being compared to her obviously could not be a compliment. He continued on by saying that I am so stubborn and hardheaded like them and that he did not want to watch me defeat myself in everything that I do. My dad caught me doing what I was told not to and I continued to deny it and would not give in. This got me into more trouble, but I was not going to concede. Give in? Never!  He told me that his hope for me was that one day I would learn to be stubborn toward my own benefit. I remember going to my room trying to figure out what could that possibly even mean. I did not even think I was stubborn.

It took years for me to realize what he meant by me being stubborn. Once my mind was made up there was no chance of my opinion being swayed. This actually did turn out to be moderately beneficial. I remember in 2000 I had turned sixteen and got my first car. My best friend who was younger than me would ask me every day without fail right before lunch period if we could skip school and go to the beach. She would try every tactic possible by reminding me what a gorgeous day it was or how awful my sixth period test was going to be. Unfortunately for her, I knew that my car would get taken away and would not be given back. Each time she asked me I gave her a firmly unwavering no. I didn’t feel bad, no guilt plagued me. The answer was no and that was the end of that; I could go back to my school day business as usual and no amount of pouting and whining interfered. She would get so irritated that all she would ever hear was no that she would tell me that I was so stubborn, to which I would just shrug my shoulders and agree.

Being stubborn started showing up in the little everyday details. I would try to open a pickle jar and if someone wanted to take it away from me to try, I would only try to open it even harder. I was not going to quit trying. Now that my struggle was evident, I had to prove I could open the pickle jar. I spent years in gymnastics so I incorporated this into things that people do not normally do. For instance, I enjoyed backward flip rolling off the bed as my dismount. All I would ever hear about this little artistic flair of mine was that I was going to crack my head open. Naturally my response to this would be to expertly execute my flip roll and smirk about it, beaming an ‘I told you so’ grin. Even being told that I need to write down the section in the parking garage is a battle of my will. That little voice reminds me that you think I cannot; so I decide that I can and then I do. It became obvious that being told the phrases ‘you can’t’ and ‘no’ are really an invitation to a great challenge. Instead, I hear: Yes let’s do this, this is exactly what I should be doing, I’ll show you and/or why not? I am afraid to do virtually everything until I hear that something cannot be done. Suddenly my brain hears: challenge accepted! I just try my best or try harder until I am right.

Reflecting on my adult life, I think that this has become advantageous the way that my dad had hoped. When others are ready to throw in the towel and give up, I perk up and keep plugging along. In an organizational or team setting I think that I bring perseverance to the table with my stubborn streak. Sometimes it takes someone not willing to give up which helps others keep forging on and to try, try again. This sets the tone that things can be accomplished and figured out. I am usually stubborn enough to make sure I find a way, even if it is not always the traditional way; I am willing to make it work. My lack of giving up is really a gift from what could be a negative trait. I suppose I have some good parenting advice to thank.

A521.2.3.RB- Danger of Stories

The single story is out there right now being passed from person to person, written in the paper and internet, broadcast by newscasters and already in our minds. It has taken residency in our lives and likely innocently crept in through images, stories and pieces of information we gather from going about our day as we are constantly receiving messages told and created by others, maybe even by ourselves. These days so much is out there to hear about and to know, layered on us, it is almost impossible to weed out the good from the bad initially. Once the single story is released it bounces like a virus and becomes our impression, what we know, or we think we know. Much like a conniving attorney, one slip of a slanted fact, regardless if the judge overrules it, that idea has made a mark on the jurors’ minds and is now something to be considered. It sounds dangerous, doesn’t it? It can be. So what is a single story? During an eye-opening TED talk, Chimamanda Adiche, a Nigerian storyteller presents “The Danger of a Single Story” and shares the concept of what the single story is and how dangerous it can be.

I really do not know that much about Nigeria. I wouldn’t pretend to and when I try to bring a reference to mind I kind of float around that Nigeria is in Africa. I picture Africa being a place of both mixed delicacy and unsavory humanitarian issues. Africa, in general, is home to the Dior campaign model and actress, Charlize Theron, romanticized safari expeditions, poaching, AIDS epidemics, political unrest, clean water initiatives and the sad, starving children in the commercials that for one dollar a day can save and feed a family. For me, I suppose I do not necessarily sort out the difference between the two. My single story of Nigeria would be that of Africa; I do not distinguish what has modernized and what has not. In my version of the single story all the worlds’ people have all of the options that I have each day. I am not sure my mental picture is the same as someone who has been there, nor necessarily the same of someone who has not. During her presentation, Adiche tells of her impressions she had of the world while growing up and how she came to learn about the impressions of others when she left Nigeria and came to America for college. Her roommate asked to listen to her traditional, tribal music, but she listens to Mariah Carey. Regardless where you are from and what you do, it is likely at some point you will only see something as one thing and that is what it will be to you; one dimensional, flat and partial. According to Adiche, “the single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.” (Adiche, 2009)

I started to wonder how this happens, how the single story becomes our reference point. I think back to the commercial that has played for what feels like at least two decades of my life. I do not think it is untrue, but it is such a powerful message and possibly one of the only connections we may have to knowledge of the people in Africa that we adopt that as an overall fact. I looked on the Save the Children website, Nigeria is not on the master list. This is not to say they do not have some of the same issues, I just feel like I needed to preface that fact so that I did not accidentally spread misinformation through my own single story ignorance. At TED, Adiche states, “So that is how to create a single story, show a people as one thing, as only one thing, over and over again, and that is what they become.” The danger is a lot of these stories are negative in nature. There is a concept of a storytelling tool called the springboard story, explored by Stephen Denning, which uses simple messages to relay an idea to others. It almost seems like the commercial is a well-intention charity fundraising outreach gone wrong, a truly unintended consequence. It tells of the tragedy that occurs and plays to our sympathies to gather relief for that part of the world, while leaving the single story impression which may be the only thing that some may ever know about that part of the world. Adiche also comments that we are impressionable and vulnerable in the face of a story.

As I roll around more possibilities it also seems like this commercial reference is a mixture of denotative and connotative symbols that play into the theatre of the mind, something Whalen says can merely be offered to you, held out for your consideration. (Whalen, 2007) Of course, my offering of Africa and the Save the Children commercial are one of many possible examples of a single story. I have had my own run in with the single story. I went to Mississippi for college and all I heard about the south was that everyone there was barefooted, uneducated cousin-kissers. I just cringed in my seat as I typed that. What a terrific impression to have. I did not really think that this single story is what I would encounter, but I was mighty surprised when I had to stop for gas. I found many of the women in big fancy SUVs, in full hair and makeup on the weekend just to make their coffee run. I absolutely watched intently on the action all around me. Who would have thought that is what I would see on my first day?  Certainly not me, but I did. When others checked in with me and asked about the barefoot and toothless inhabitants of the south, I was quick to point out that I have seen as many teeth as anywhere else I have been and the bare feet are actually running around all over the beach in Florida, the state in which I am from. Adiche’s overall message is that it is important to have a balance of stories, not just a single story. I accept this as something I need to work on each day as I encounter the world around me. I think there is a profound power to becoming cognizant of what happens with dogged frequency that by naming the phenomena, the single story, we can all work against the dangerous, stereotyping power in which it yields.

References:

                Adiche, C. (2009, October).  Chimamanda Adichie: The danger of a single story. Ted Podcast retrieved from: 

                http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html

Denning, S., (2011). The leader’s guide to storytelling; Mastering the art and discipline of business narrative. San Francisco, CA. Jossey-Bass.

Whalen, D. J., & Ricca, T. M. (2007). The professional communications toolkit. Thousand Oaks, Calif: Sage Publications.

A521.1.4.RB- Stories in your organization

Aviation and Embry-Riddle have always had a lifelong partnership that grew and flourished into vision and values. Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University is the world’s leader in aviation and aerospace education.

Born and raised three exits away from Daytona Beach, Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University was basically in my backyard. The institution always had a wonderful reputation but I did not make the connection that this is an organization I should be a part of on my own. I was fortunate to finally get connected and began my employment in September 2013 as an Academic Advisor for the Graduate program at the Worldwide Online campus. In several ways, I am being told that I am only half way to that one-year click, but the landscape of ERAU’s story is quickly materializing. I see the big picture and it is beautiful.

There are three campuses that students may attend located in Daytona Beach, Florida, Prescott, Arizona and Worldwide, which is made up of over 150 campuses literally worldwide. As an advisor for the Worldwide Online campus I connect and communicate with students in the United States, Europe, Asia, Canada and the Middle East daily comprised of both civilian and military backgrounds. As part of the Worldwide campus there are five modalities to learn from that range from in-person, online, an option to attend from home through the EagleVision classroom, go to a classroom with an EagleVision instructor and a blended variation of the four other modalities.

ERAU states that we are “committed to an expansion of opportunities” and that has been such a significant statement that it could be described as a story always being written and constantly in flux. Even within just the six months on board, I have seen changes and updates many times already. I also see continuous announcements and plans for upcoming changes and updates, too.  Growth occurs through new buildings, technology, projects, programs, education, which go on to receive varied awards, achievements and accolades. I am not kidding when I say that we as an organization move as fast an airplane! I have also been personally encouraged toward taking any opportunity for personal and professional development.

I think what can be expected of Embry-Riddle is that complacency and stagnation are not ideal situations and are unlikely to occur. New ideas are welcomed and met with open arms. ERAU is not afraid to be on the cutting edge and jump on board with trying and perfecting anything new. The word “new” is a happy word, not a fear-inducing term. With, ERAU, expect progress to always be on the horizon. A constant collage of community and culture are created by improvements and facilitation. If ERAU as an organization were a person I would say it would be a person with a big brain and a big heart. It is a healthy organization that thrives because of the willing attitude in the leadership and throughout the organization. The culture is impacted positively because there is always something new to learn, get involved with and be a part of launching. No matter how soon or how long ago you began with the University, you are thought of as valued.

A500.9.4.RB- Course Reflections

Prior to January I never bothered to come into the room I now call my study. Sitting here, swiveling around in my office chair, it does not feel like I have been ritualistically coming in here and working on my ‘school work’ for only nine weeks as my first course is quickly coming to a close. It is now so familiar that I automatically come in, plop down and work on my module that time has seemed to fly by; these days, time is something that I cannot out run or out work. I have been so devoted to my first graduate course that I often feel like the character Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell in the episode called “Jessie’s Song”, who in the midst of a meltdown due to juggling school in the hopes to getting into Stanford and also her participation in a girl singing group in the hopes to getting their big break in the 1990’s pop scene begins to take caffeine pills to stay awake enough hours in the day to try to do it all. One of her most famous lines she cries out, “There is no time. There’s never any time.” I can commiserate with her plight. I find myself saying that phrase like a worn out, soon to be broken record.

 I found myself during the fifth week of MSLD 500 having my own meltdown. I was sick, which in my opinion, is not an excuse. I felt so run down and it was right in the middle of the term when the fatigue begins to become apparent.  I found a quote on the internet that says, “You have the same hours in the day as Beyoncé.” It is true; everyone has the same amount of time. It is important what you choose to do with it. I found myself struggling immensely with the actual assignments, that even with continuous work and an all-nighter Friday night to Saturday morning, I was still at a loss on what I was going to do and I had nothing on my electronic sheet of paper. I missed the deadline and thought to myself, what haven I gotten myself into?  Why did I even do this? I felt in that moment that I had ruined everything. I truly was terrified with the thought of failure. With heightened emotions I sobbed uncontrollably that I was going to fail the class and not turn in any more work, receive my F grade, get placed on academic warning and not be in good standing with the very University in which I was employed. I was afraid I was not good enough, not smart enough to be well rounded and do all the different types of assignments. It was a very dark few days for me while I grappled with the reality of what was going on with me. I literally just felt stuck, paralyzed and unable to continue forward like a dream that keeps you frozen and unmoving. I think there is a really ugly side to success that is unattractive and often left in the shadows.  At what cost do you want to succeed and what are you willing to do to make it happen? What do you do when you feel like you just can’t? Is my desire to be great too much for me to handle? Though I risk having my own mental health questioned, I think it is really important to come forward with your personal struggles so that they do not gain anymore traction in your life and grow into something worse. I think that was clearly the most negative aspect of this course for me. I think I became my own enemy and got into my own way.

I have contemplated how I might have improved my learning experience, what more could I do or what I could have done differently? I still do not really have an answer. I know in my heart I tried my best and gave it my all. I have had those in my life say to me, you are doing well; you can maybe take it down a notch. I am the type of person where I am really all or nothing, I run at intensity level eight thousand. I feel like I had to give it my all and be all-in each assignment so that I could create a cushion in case I faced something I couldn’t overcome and faltered. I am also kind of like Pac man; it brings me instant gratification to eat up as many good grades as possible. I do feel like there were areas I had shortcomings, but while I think it is good to identify problems, I am not one to dwell and fixate on them, either. When I think about what the University or my instructor could do to further support my learning, I really feel satisfied with my overall experience, the problem I dealt with was based on something I did  not feel competent with and not a reflection on anyone but myself. A small critique would be that in an ideal situation, assignment updates and changes in a module would be beneficial prior to the beginning the new term or if that was not possible, prior to the beginning of that week’s module.

While everything in this life is not always sunshine and happiness and that has been acknowledged, there were some truly lovely moments that are important and positive that need to be praised. I earlier mentioned that I asked myself why I am doing this and why would I want to and the reason is because well, there are many reasons. Always one to self-reflect, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life about ten years ago. What is my life’s purpose, its mission? What I came up with is what I wanted my life’s impression to be. I want to be happy and I want to make others happy. If I have the opportunity, I would like to make the day better for those who encounter me. I never want to be the bad part of someone else’s day, or at least without unavoidable reason. With that comes social responsibility and awareness. I have witnessed social injustice in corporate environments. I have been a victim of it and I have seen others have to deal with it. There are certain things that I will never agree with and will not tow the company line if I ever make my way up to creating policies if it does not include valuing others. I want to become a force to be reckoned with and a force for good. That is not exactly specific to a field or a profession, I know, but that is what would make my life meaningful to me and that cannot be accomplished without leadership. I feel that this course set the foundation to learn more about leadership and that each of the topics have purpose. I cannot say that something is irrelevant, because I do not feel like we know what will be relevant when the journey of life is completely unknown. It is best to learn as much as possible to have the tools for the times when you need them and least expect it.

I learned a lot to be successful in future classes because there was a little of everything covered all in one class. I had no clue how to do APA format prior to this class. I didn’t know what critical thinking was and I had never blogged. One of the most positive aspects to me was connecting with something I love and have longed to do more of and that is writing, especially creative writing. It is still on the back burner as I am not completely sold on the possible success of my current abilities, but deep in my heart I long to call myself a published author. Blogging gives me the practice I was not giving myself before I began this program. Even if I never take the step to become an actual novelist, writing is always incorporated throughout the business world and can still something I am satisfied doing in any capacity that I find myself able to do it. Ultimately, I know that I need to grow myself through this leadership program to take myself to the next level of wherever it is that I am heading.  I am not sure what to really expect with the future courses in the leadership program. I am apprehensive about what I might face, but I am also excited about what I might gain.

Oh, there is something I thought of and one last thing I would like to conclude with in my course reflections. I really enjoyed my instructor and think that if the University and my instructor really want to support my learning experience, she would most definitely instruct other MSLD courses because that would make me really happy, so I strongly suggest that happening… pretty please? Let’s make this happen!